The Spoons That Are My Ears!

Every time I enter the house of Stuart and Monica I start drawing on pieces of paper. Why? I don't know. I enjoy the act of drawing, and I want to cover walls as well as pieces of paper with organic abstract designs and tropical scenes -- jungles, toucans, volcanoes -- but I suffer from one major disadvantage in this regard -- I can't draw.

This reminds me that a music critic once rated the ability of King Crimson's violinist David Cross as follows: "...for a violinist he has only one flaw -- he can't play!" (Possible proof of this assertion can be found here...!)

Writing news... I have nearly finished The Postmodern Mariner -- another few days should do the trick -- and I have also placed stories with two of Steve Upham's forthcoming anthologies. One of these stories is called 'Cracking Nuts With Jan Hammer' and is about prog rock. In Wales. And Hell. It features (yet again) Huw as a minor character -- I must start leaving him alone, really. But the actual narrator is Anthony Lewis from Satori, who I've used as a cartoonist more than once. The other story is called 'Degrees of Separation' and was already due to appear in the Greek customised edition of my New Universal History, so I'm glad it will see print in English as well...

Which reminds me: the contract from my Greek publishers arrived via my agent yesterday, so I need to sign and return it. My agent also managed to sell my story 'The Gala of Implausible Songs' (cartoons by Anthony) to PS Publishing for £125. I have been lately pondering this sum... £125 for one short story, taken as some sort of yardstick (which is isn't), would mean I've earned 125 x 405 = £50,625 from fiction since I sold my first story... Half the annual salary of a standard engineer -- but over a period of fifteen years! In other words I am earning 1/32 of what I could be, or should be, had I been more organised when younger. Ah well!

The 'Best of Leviathan' anthology I mentioned in an earlier post is now going to be called MAPPING THE BEAST and is due out later this year. It will feature my story 'Gatling Gums' and has a great cover, the sort of cover I want for my Postmodern Mariner... For that one, I'm thinking about taking a photo of the Porthcawl seafront and adding a sea serpent or a kraken...

I have been asked to write an article about Arthur Machen by the Friends of Arthur Machen society. My suggestion that I could write a polemical piece contrasting Dylan Thomas with Machen, showing that Machen was superior on every level, was accepted with glee. I now have another outlet to vent my annoyance at Thomas! This annoyance is large but not all-consuming. Many writers I respect love Thomas -- Michael Bishop, Roger Zelazny, etc. But not me. That's my right.

I went to the Monkey on Tuesday with my ex-girlfriend Catherine during salsa night. I think I might restart classes there, as it still looks lots of fun. I had forgotten. I may also be starting an ICDL course at the university to increase my chances of finding work. Stuart and Monica's cockatiels are regarding me in a suspicious manner. I wonder what they are thinking. I believe they are trying to achieve parity. Rotten puns on 'parrots' aren't good.