Thursday, September 11, 2008


I Found the Higgs Boson at the Bottom of a Bag of Particles...

Last Wednesday the LHC (Large Hadron Collider) was started up on the Swiss-French border not far from Geneva. Scare stories about how this machine might destroy the world with the accidental creation of black holes, strangelets or an expanding bubble of true vacuum (as opposed to the false vacuum that probably fills the universe) were simply ignored by me until I discovered that one of the scientists in charge of the project was Welsh -- Dr Lyn Evans from Aberdare. Then I really did begin to panic!

Fortunately I remembered that the Welsh are just as bad at destroying the world as not destroying it -- in fact we are bad at everything: we can't even do minor catastrophes properly -- and so I relaxed again. With a Welshman in charge of the LHC, absolutely nothing of significance will happen when those massively accelerated protons smash together. It might rain a bit. Someone chubby might get drunk. It might rain a bit more.

This has absolutely nothing to do with the pictures displayed here. Because I don't know when enough is enough, I have persisted with my dreadful painting hobby. Here are two more feeble efforts. Weep O art lovers! The titles of these 'works' are as follows:

(1) Wheely Tired: the Spokesman Comes Home from Work
(2) Tsaparang


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