Tuesday, January 13, 2009


Works in Progress

I have just saved everything I've ever written onto an MP3 player which doubles as a memory stick. Actually it's not everything, just all my completed fiction from my earliest surviving tale to my most recent. Almost 20 years of relentless activity stored (with plenty of room to spare) inside a black tubular thing no longer than one of my fingers. Incredible! I did a word count at the same time and learned that so far I've written 1,824,485 words of fiction.

I am often described as 'prolific' but a simple calculation reveals that the above figure divided by my current total of finished tales (468 and rising fast) gives an average of 3898 words for each story. This can be extrapolated into the future. I plan to write exactly 1000 stories in my lifetime, so the grand total at the end of my career should be about 3,898,472 words. Almost four million words. In other words only about 10% of the total of Max Brand.

It's amusing to note that although my entire output easily fits inside a small memory stick, it is still larger than another uncompleted work: the Meridian Quay Tower, the tallest building in Swansea. An assertion proved by this photograph!

Lest we forget Mr Des Lewis and his improbable list of story credits. :)

Nice pic, Rhys - loath as I am to mention a television ad, but there's a rather clever one for washing powder which mixes kids with clever uses of perspective and vision.
That's Swansea's tallest building? Sniggers.... Seriously though, what is it?
That's Swansea's tallest building? Sniggers.... Seriously though, what is it?
Yes, the tallest building in Swansea is rather pathetic in terms of height. But that's not really my fault. Honest.

Personally I would prefer a low-rise Swansea but if tall buildings can't be avoided they should be properly tall. Like the Ryugyong Hotel in Pyongyang...
Hey Rhys, I wasn't saying that it's your fault that that Swansea's tallest building has a paucity of height; honest!!!! (Damn you Rhys, build something bigger, lol!!!!!). Never been to Swansea, but I've heard the Gower is nice. Seems that 'Mother Wore Tights' will never get published, so I figure I might just convert it to a PDF and put it on the Net for anyone to read; anyone interested? Thought not.....
Just in case anyone (can you hear me out there? Anyone? Hello.....) is interested,'Mother Wore Tights' is a Flash Gordon, 1930's style sci-fi epic, with an evil, scheming Panty Brat queen, aided and abetted by her entourage of genetically-engineered Panty Brats. Can our hero escape the evil clutches of the Panty Brat queen, and rescue his feisty journalist side-kick Bunty Rumpshaft? Hope this clears things up.
Why not simply retitle it 'Murder Wore Tights' to avoid issues with the 1947 film...?
Well, yes my publisher (I use this title loosely, as she is a cretinous retard) did suggest something similar. Anyhow, I've given up; I'm going to convert it into a PDF file and upload it for anyone to read Gratis. Alternatively, I'll email it to anyone who wants a copy. If I can be bothered.
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