The Spoons That Are My Ears!

The monsters featured so far have been fairly minor villains, but now at last we can see the arch-scoundrel who ultimately controls them all. His name is République Nutt and he's French! These three photos show him in various dastardly scenarios. First we are presented with a frontal view, showing his posture and the fiendish Walnut Whip Helmet that he wears atop his head. The Walnut Whip Helmet has the power to create unfounded rumours and transmit them across vast distances on a tight beam! One of the first rumours it created was the rumour of its own existence in a cavern deep under the city of Strasbourg. That's how République Nutt was able to get hold of it!

In his subterranean hideout the merciless rascal divides his time between taking over the world and reading Proust. The second photo shows him cavorting on the summit of the profane temple he has constructed to worship his favourite writer. Hideous! An earlier adventure featuring République Nutt before he forced the Walnut Whip Helmet onto his cranium can be found in my book Journeys Beyond Advice. But the third photo shows him much later, after he got stuck in a brandy bottle. Brandy is French. The truth is that French culture is superior to British: and that's precisely what makes République Nutt so dangerous. He's in the right!

Yin and Yang are the primary forces of the universe, the duality that governs the actions of Nature and its Children, including Mankind... Light and dark, good and evil, male and female, hot and cold, cool and square, up and down, left and right, this and that, funky and soulless. In balance each half of the duality contains the other half. In every yin a speck of yang; in every yang a speck of yin. When this hallowed law is violated the powers of unhappiness stir. The Walnut Whip Helmet… Chocolate and nuts… No balance there. No yin meshed with yang, yang meshed with yin. No harmony. Absolutely not! Disharmony, blockage, asymmetry, chaotic whirling of French madness… Nuts with chocolate. For the love of purity, NO!!!