The Spoons That Are My Ears!

I told you that humans pollinate flowers with their noses, didn't I? Here's the proof. Azaleas, rhododendrons and various other blooms have lately benefitted from my proboscis. I am clearly a minor but nonetheless useful and valued cog in the great pithy Machine of Life! The reason I have been pollinating flowers in this manner is because my nose is the bee's knees. It's also the pussy's jimjams. It may be other things too; I'll have to consult nosologists on that question. Nosology is a branch of science that specialises in applying metaphors to noses.

I have also been planting turrets. It is a little known fact that turrets start life as seeds no bigger than grains of sand. In fertile soil they quickly germinate and grow into structures that damsels can utilise for the letting down of tresses, when appropriate. Here is a particularly fine example of a healthy turret. Sometimes they are beset by sieges and other forms of blight. Then they topple. Many are the toppled turrets I have stepped over in the Ghoul-Haunted Woodland of Weir and in sundry other locations! But all is not lost: a toppled turret can be converted into a nice rockery with little or no effort. As for damsels: remember that they must be in distress before a rescue is attempted, not merely in a dress. I'm still smarting from that mistake...

The ultimate point of all this is to re-plug a forthcoming anthology: the marvellous Worlds of Philip José Farmer, which is due out soon. As I believe I've said elsewhere, my own contribution is a story called 'The Pollinators', based on PJF's seminal (pun intended) novel, The Lovers. Of all my tribute stories to various authors (and there have been many of them) I believe this to be my most forthright and accomplished. But The Worlds of Philip José Farmer is not merely a showcase for tribute stories by such magnificent PJF devotees as David Bischoff, Chris Roberson, Win Scott Eckert, Christopher Paul Carey, Edward Morris, Dennis E. Power and Paul Spiteri. It also contains never-before-published work by the master himself! And it's a limited edition volume with only 100 copies available above the pre-ordered amount. A good reason for pre-ordering, I believe!