Sunday, May 20, 2012


Lamblake Heinz Revealed!

The Lamblake Heinz project proceeds apace. There is now an official author photo that can be released to the world. Here it is! Be warned that looking at it for too long is hazardous. As for those people who might say that Lamblake resembles me, I shrug off such suggestions with my dandruffy shoulders. Do I wear glasses and a hat? Manifestly I never do. Therefore he can’t be me!

Please visit, if you wish, Lamblake’s blog, where you will find the title story of his forthcoming collection for free, but only for a limited time! There is also a Facebook group dedicated to this legendary author.

As I predicted in my last post, there have been grumblings about this project. One fellow claimed that it was ‘self-important’ of me to poke fun at horror; he wondered how I would like to be lampooned myself? My answer is that I constantly lampoon myself and it feels fine so far. I’m a compulsive self-parodist. But if anyone out there would like to attempt a genuine lampoon of my work, by all means do so and email it to me; and if it has been done in good faith (by making fun of my many real faults) then I’ll include it in the collection. My email address for submissions is:

Indeed, feel free to send me any deliberately bad horror stories you might have written and maybe they’ll end up as sample products of Mr Heinz’s long career…

There should be a book cover soon. A reliable and talented artist has agreed to produce one. It is certain to be scary! And talking about scary… here’s an article I wrote recently on ‘What Scares Me’. So now my weak spots are no longer a secret!

More news (and any further grumblings) will be reported here in due course. Before I forget, allow me to state that ALL profits from sales of The Grin of the Doll Who Ate His Mother’s Face in the Dark will be going to charity. Not sure which charity yet, but I’ll decide very soon!

Mr. Heinz certainly is a handsome fellow; after reading his biography on Wikipedia I have to say, I rather like the cut of his jib; fancy being born in a tent!

Looking forward to reading more; good work Rhys!
Thanks! If (when it appears next month) the Lamblake Heinz spoof ebook makes more than £100 for charity, then there will be other spoof ebook collections to follow in other genres. One will be a collection of bad 'Romance' stories by Victoria Plum, or as she became known after her marriage to Dominic Job -- Victoria Plumjob.
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